While I was Sleeping

While I was sleeping the world remained awake

and sweet dreams mixed with peaceful thoughts

Sugar and candy, the stick of sweetness lingered in my mouth to drip back down an open throat into the maw to be forgotten.

Thoughts and dreams never given flesh

Yet bodies hurl at each other for collateral entertainment

I stand back, I stand above

And still I was sleeping.

My brother spoke, my brother yelled, my sister cried, my husband sang, my cousins, nieces, mothers, fathers, friends and friends of friends awoke and did not like what they saw.

Nor did I

was that enough?

I held my breath, I held my tongue

My words I held above my head, I held my words above your head

You didn’t see? But they were there

Perhaps you were asleep; but so was I

While I was sleeping the world remained awake

Sweetened dreams melted into bitter thoughts that melted into nightmares

the sugar of my dreams sickening the gullet they had dripped in to.

The country in the next room woke me up with it’s crying

How long have I been asleep?

I do not recognize the lamp, the bed, the dresser, the desk, the windows, the mirror, the carpet, the clock

Disoriented the world around me turns and throws me back to bed

Longing for sleep, longing for dreams

I cannot fall back asleep

Because I didn’t speak until I no longer could