An echo of the past

I’m just gonna say this real quick because I could focus and do an in depth post on it, but I’d rather wait until later and write about some of the great things that have recently happened.

This should sound an exact echo of about 2 years ago, but I HATE job searching.  Nothing makes me feel like I lack any useful skills like having to find a survival job.  I think I’m a bad B.S.er because I know that I see incompetence every where, and I constantly think to myself “How did this person get this job?”  And yet I look at places that are hiring, positions that are open, and I can’t help but think “What is my BFA useful for!?”

Don’t get me wrong, over the last 2 years I have gotten way better at going into a room and leaving with an acting gig.  I feel border line competent at that now.  These survival jobs never get easier.

I’m just having minor panic attacks, because as more and more time passes, and my savings go down and down, my anxiety rises, and I start feeling desperate.  I’m not in the danger zone by a long shot yet, but I don’t want to get there either!

Bottom line, I want a job.  I want the money, and frankly I would like to have something to do other than wait around for auditions to start back up.

In the mean while, I’m glad the weather has turned around.  I love summer weather and sun, and that grey stuff we were getting wasn’t doing anything to help my mood.

So pray for me folks.  Thanks.

PS, I’ll try and write more tonight on happier subject matter.